Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Lilith in the 11th House - The "Loser"

The artist is Ana Gonzalez, who showed her gorgeous painting at the 2011 Fairfax High School art show in Fairfax, VA.  She is planning on doing art as a career.

This is my natal BML placement, which makes an objective description more difficult.  Fortunately, the mother of my god-daughter also has Lilith here - comparing her experience to mine made this description infinitely easier to do.

Glancing around the Internet, I note various observations:

  • Not accepted by peer groups, especially when young.
  • Sometimes, there is a strong magnetism apparent when the adult native engages particular groups of people – in other words, the shape-shifting quality of Lilith appears with greater maturity.  For example, a teacher who is well-liked by students, but who is cautious around peers outside of a work setting.  The person still feels “cast-out” by groups, but not by all groups.
  • A certain “restlessness” with regard to children, which may increase if a nurturing sign like Cancer is on the 11th House cusp.  Lilith in Cancer is something of a "toxic mother", although it may simply suggest a woman who wisely decides not to have children.
  • Person projects large emotional demands onto friends, and may end up feeling betrayed by friends who find it difficult to cope with the pressure being placed on them.
  • Person may have a friend who embodies Lilith.
  • Marriage to a “friend” or a “friend with benefits”, which causes problems.

My own observation on the last bullet point is that 11th House Lilith people tend to find each other.  There is a very deep level of understanding among people who felt thoroughly cast out of the group as children and teen-agers, whether they had nerdy tendencies or not.  These people often “get” each other as adults, even when they are decades past the early experience of scapegoating.

Lady Gaga and Kim Kardashian both have this placement – and there are large segments of the public who simply don’t like either performer.  Gaga turned the outcast experience into her most famous song, “Born This Way”.  Kardashian has recently embodied a public Lilith due to her very apparent weight gain during pregnancy – and the public has no problem calling her “fat as a house”.  James Dean, the most widely loved outcast of mid-20th century America, had an 11th House Lilith.  So does Marilyn Manson – most people either love his performances or hate them.  The thing to keep in mind is that a gorgeous, popular actress like Halle Berry also has this Lilith – for her, the manifestation was in an unanticipated pregnancy at age 46.

My Observations on 11th House Lilith

11th House Lilith is not an easy placement.  For a lot of natives, the “social misfit” energy is strong – these people may never feel at ease in groups, and the effects of this may be life-long.  There also tends to be a draining impact on marriage – the strong sexual attraction to the spouse was either never there, or it quickly faded into friendship, leaving the native dissatisfied, and more willing to “cheat” in order to find fulfillment.

Disseminating Lilith on the Internet or through other forms of publication is one way of expressing 11th House Lilith.  In fact, some natives with 11th House Lilith are lucky – they experience very little of Lilith in their personal lives, and only deal with her energy when they come in contact the masses. 

Here are a few examples:

Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton is cool and pretty – she may not be academically bright, but she’s got that magnetic quality – sort of like an Anti-Lady Gaga.  Hilton likes to portray herself as being at the center of her social scene – you wouldn’t catch her hanging with the fan base because she has no close friends in real life.  Yet it is interesting to recall that Hilton first came to the notice of the public when a sex tape of her was “leaked” on the Internet – a very 11th House Lilith way of attracting attention.

Sigmund Freud

Not only did the famous psychoanalyst cheat on his wife with a long-term mistress, an action which caused his wife a lot of deeply felt pain, but he convinced his close friend, 11th House Lilith Karl Jung, that it was okay for him to do the same thing.  Both men were thought to have stayed married for the money.

Freud also did a tremendous amount of damage with his mistaken ideas on female frigidity – he cast the frigid woman as “unnatural” and an object to be pitied, and never considered the physiological or hormonal causes of frigidity.  These ideas were widely disseminated, and caused men to believe they should dump an unresponsive wife, since her illness was “psychological” and “in her head”. Sadly, this belief persisted decades after Freud’s ideas on frigidity were discredited.  By projecting Lilith onto so many women he would never know personally, Freud proved himself something of a quack unworthy of his training as a physician.

Monica Belluci

This 11th House Lilith has the dark beauty of Lilith, the ability to look like Eve when she wishes (see the photo in 12th House Lilith), and famous film roles as one of Dracula’s brides in Bram Stoker’s Dracula, the role of Persephone in The Matrix Reloaded, and Mary Magdalene in The Passion of the Christ.  She is also married to 8th House Lilith Vincent Cassel, who gave a powerful performance that called to mind a male consort of Lilith in the movie, Black Swan.

A Few More Notes on Lilith

Lilith shows up more strongly in the personality when it is very tightly conjunct a planet or a fixed star, or when she participates in an aspect structure with narrow orbs. 

Barack Obama has a very tight true Lilith conjunction with Mercury, and the shape-shifting quality of his communication style has served him very well as President. 

Monica Lewinski has true Lilith conjunct the IC within five degrees, which is too wide for a "tight" conjunction, but still had a tremendous impact. She will be typecast as Lilith for the rest of her life.

I have True Lilith partile conjunct Sirius in the 11th House, which seems to have elevated my Lilith awareness to the point where I try to write about her and explain her to others.  The only grand trine I have involves Mean Lilith, 3rd House Neptune, and 7th House Chiron. One of the nice things about Lilith is that are at least two main points of consideration in the charts of most folks - this provides an extra chance for some lucky natives to get some extra "Lilith goodies".

What's Next?
10th House Lilith:  Where Lilith is Shape-Shifting Boss

What Did I Miss?
12th House Lilith:  The Face of Eve (The Social Servant)

A look at celebrities according to Lilith house placements:

 A Canadian anarchist astrologer who goes by one name, Willow, did an excellent piece on Lilith's ingress into Cancer on June 25, 2013.  She has written a number of other articles on Lilith, as well other topics of astrological interest, that are worth taking a look at.  As an anarchist, she can be something of a "balls-to-the-walls, ass-kicker", in terms of some of her comments.  But the astrology she is doing is very good, and I recommend it.

Willow's Web Astrology


  1. You've made an accurate observation in your detailed assessment of Lilith in the 11th house.

    I also have Osc, BML, and Dark moon in Libra, in the 11th house. All of them found a spot on my Asc, sun, moon, Saturn, and Jupiter. Only with sextiles , trines , and squares.

    However,I have Lilith asteroid in the 1st and 12th house in Scorpio conjunct Asc, and pluto. Very Tightly.

    I have to agree with you, I do admire the outcast, more so than people who quickly gain popularity. I've always been the strange one of the bunch, and never seem to fit it; nevertheless it does have polarity effect. You don't want to fit in, but then again you do.

    Although, I'm not a cheater, yet I do get bored in relationships fast. lol. I think what you've stated is quite true. In fact, the best description by far.

    Btw. Love the picture, it's very artsy.

  2. I have my Lilith in Sagittarius in the 11th house, and I had problems fitting in at school. I can relate to your article.

  3. I'm into astrology now for some years. Looking into (or studying to be more accurate) Lilith makes - what I knew until now - superficial.

    Your perceptions regarding the subject are SO true and correct for me; it is downright frightening!

    I 'have' Lilith (Waldermath!):
    - in the 11th, 2 deg cusp Scorpio and Jupiter at 6 deg/Scorpio)
    - Quincunx Lilith (Asteriod) in Taurus, 6th house.
    - opposition Mars cusp 5th Aries
    - opposition Pars Fortunae 4th Aries
    - Semisextile Pluto 10th Virgo
    - Semisquare SouthNode 9tj Virgo
    - Sextile Osc. Lilith 9th Leo
    - Sq-SemiSq North Node 3rd in Pisces

    I'm literally and figuratively married to my best friend (with benefits). She looks like Lilith ( this is the spitting image of her) and embodies 'her' in ALL she does (and does not!)..

    - Asteriod Lilith is 1 deg cusp 7th house, DC

    I lead an interesting life, sort of speak. Any suggestion as to how I can learn to better deal with this 'standing'? What is it I need to look for?


    25 february 1970 / 02:02 AM / Veldhoven

  4. I am so intrigued by your article. I have an unaspected Sun conjunct Lilith and Sirius in the 11th House. We must have a lot in common. I still cannot find a lot of information about the Sun conjunct both Lilith and Sirius together...

  5. Wow, this is too accurate... my high school life makes a lot of sense now. Even in elementary, I never really fit in anywhere and I felt alienated for it all the way to my senior year. I've never been able to keep friends, and I never let them get too close to my vulnerable self. Interesting read, wonderful interpretation!

  6. Oh my God! i just rechecked the difference between mean and true Lilith, the first being in my X and the latter in XI, my only comment is THIS IS SO ME! and the fact about us with the Lilith in XI finding each other, so true! many of my friends have this position and I am drawn to celebrities with that placement! incredible! and then they say astrology is BS... idiots <3 but my square with Moon scares me...

  7. And I also relate to all those songs about being different, outcast, outsider like Creep by RadioHead or Outside by Mariah. Those are my crying songs

  8. I have lilith in 11th house in gemini with chiron in the same sign and moon! I was happy to know that kim kardashian has the same liith in house 11! I'm a fan of kim kardashian! knowing that she can have something in common with me made me happy !!!! i am seaching for answers about my lilith, and now i am more happy !!!

  9. Virgo in the 11th. Mostly benefical aspects (M). Not sure on (T).